This post is both informational and rant. I’ve been gathering some steam for this the last few months and now I feel the time as come to dump some knowledge on these squirts and kiddies as to some of the finer points of the game. Check it out if you wish, I’m just hoping for the search engine hit to spread the word.
All this is based around players in the single level of BLOOD GULCH.
CTF means CTF
Ok, jackasses, understand this: In a game of Capture the Flag, the objective is to CAPTURE THE FLAG. When will you people learn that kills mean absolutely, positively n-o-t-h-i-n-g when the goal of the game is to capture the flag? Seriously, people, this isn’t quantum-level quark cycles in an excited helium state.
When playing, your only goal should be to hurl yourself at the enemy in the most straightforward or devious manner possible until their flag is in your base. For myself, I generally end a CTF game with well over 30 deaths - generally the most in the game. However, surprise of surprises, I’m in first place with 2 or 3 captures. Wait! With 3 kills, 5 assists and 34 deaths I can still be number one in the game?! God forbid! Look, if all you want to do is kill - go play Slayer, not CTF.
The Tank STAYS in the Base
Here we go.. Another easy one: The Scorpion Tank is a weapon of DEFENSE and NOT NOT NOT one of OFFENSE. I’m not certain what could be a better indicator than the fact that when you take the Tank out - YOU LOSE IT. Again, if I were attempting an explanation of n-space warp drive matrix fallacies in Star Trek, I might expect some glassy eyes - but I’m not. I suppose I can water this down into something digestable:
Leave the damn Tank at the base.
There is NO SUCH THING as “Vehicle Camping”
I’m guessing that this little treasure came out of my expressed sentiment over the Tank remaining in the base. My question to those who complain using this blatantly retarded concept (vehicle camping) is that when your team gets the second tank and both get placed strategically behind your base.. Arent you guilty of the same thing? Are you people so mentally deficient as to believe you DESERVE the other team to bring out their tank so you can steal it? Does this somehow make the game more fair for you? This poppycock, half-brained, thought-deficient concept must be the brain-child of a deluded and seriously compromised person. oh, and to those of you who simply say, “Just go steal your tank back!” I say to you - we shouldnt have lost the damn thing in the first place. THAT’S the point.
Running people over is not n00b behavior
When I run you over on the way to your base, it is not a n00b habit. When I pull a doughnut and come back to run you over, it is not a n00b habit. When I circle your base and run over your teammates who flood out in a failed attempt to stop me, it is not n00b behavior. I’m not certain how or why this ridiculous notion came about but those of you clinging to it, get off-line, go read a book, go out and get a drink, find a nice partner for the night and get yourself some sex. Obviously something is missing in your life and you need to immediately cease all HALO activities and find out just what piece youre not getting. Running people over with a vehicle in HALO is not n00b behavior. Its strategy against an enemy. Its eliminating a threat. Its good SOP. Its winning. Deal with it.
I hate the pistol.
This is not a tip, its a complaint. I believe the pistol is an unfair weapon for the following reasons: (A) it has ridiculous range (B) it can kill with a minimum of three hits (C) the rate of fire is too fast for its range and accuracy. I has a specific distaste for people who rely on the pistol to kill their enemies from a long range. That is what the Sniper Rifle was designed for and thats why there are only two of them at any given time. Really chaps my ass.
If any one of you has a problem with my statements, feel free to look me up and drop me a flame-hatemail-show of your ignorance type note via email. I’ll respond to any or all who request one.
Entries (RSS)